12/09 - Mulled Monday

and now here's something cute

 

[NSFW]

 

I can't believe @Tracy Wethington actually went through with sending
all that heavy yarn through the mail! Postage must have been outrageous!

 

My name is Young Hwa Lee.

I am a teacher at a community college and a researcher a private research company. At Boalsburg, PA.

You know me; I did not even tell you my name or address two years even we are sending gifts to others together.

This is who I am, I am a polar bear and my name is Young Hwa Lee.

 

Nice to finally meet you!

 

Big hugs. Time doesn't change the intensity of how much we miss them. You'll always need your mama.

Last October was 18 years since I lost my daughter, she would have turned 18 and started college this year. Some days I'm fine and some days I get hit with what I call "bricks of grief" where, out of nowhere it feels like, I am overwhelmed with the pain of everything we never got to share.

I know she would be proud of you!

 

That's pretty darn accurate for me, I can say that. I'm never NOT grieving. I'm just not actively talking about it, or living in it. But it's ALWAYS there, and there's ALWAYS an emotional toll and it uses up energy.

I 100% changed when my daughter died. I have no room for what I call stupid bullshit anymore. I just don't have the mental space to deal with it, so I don't. Pisses some people off but, whatever.

 

This is beautiful and what I needed to hear today. I took a couple surveys about memories and childhood today and they kind of stirred up thoughts of how long it's been since my father passed and the things we didn't get to do. I'll keep this in mind around the holidays.

 

There is a saying in Turkish (or in any culture that I do not know off) "the god may the death to be in order"

A parent should not experience their kids loss. Sorry.

 

Surveys always get me when they ask how many kids I have. I answer 2 and if they stop there it's all good.

But if they ask me how old my oldest child is and how old the youngest? Uh. 0 and 15, in that order?

 

Wow - that makes a lot of sense, and it makes me both more sad and more happy. I guess I love that the people we've lost (my mom & brother) are still living within our lives and they're not "in the rear view mirror." Thanks, Jessers, for posting that!

 

Title: ~2-4 minutes. Survey about what you see and your attitudes. | PANDA
Requester: Gabriele Oettingen [ABGGAAIDR60IK]
TurkerView: [ $9.16 / hour ]
Description: Answer questions about what you see and your attitudes
Duration: 60 Min
Available: 0
Reward: $0.35
Qualifications:

• Total approved HITs GreaterThan 500,
• HIT approval rate (%) GreaterThan 98,
• Location EqualTo US,

[3XB7PZ5TXJ7YPCHPFR9A79LU7NU7O8]​

 

Qual/Screener!

The Represented [A1X3JM28IFREI4] Miscellaneous Survey (demographics, policy opinions, etc) (~ 3 minutes) - $0.10 | PANDA

Low

Unrated

Unrated

$2.18 / hour
00:02:45 / completion time

​

Pros:
It felt more interesting and engaging than a "bubble hell" survey, which is why I finished it.

Cons:
It's still grossly underpaid.

Qualifications: hello DoesNotExist ; Location EqualTo US;

To read The Represented's full profile check out TurkerView!​

 

Yep, I took that memories survey and was fricking crying by the time I was done. It was a great memory, but I've lost two of the people in it.

 

I need to take a mental health break from the forum, but sending love to all of us who are grieving new or old losses.

 

Thank you!

It's super sad that many of us do. It's far less common thanks to medical science and better nutrition, but it happens. From miscarriage on up...so many of us live with this.

I haven't lost a parent yet, so I can't know how hard that is going to be. I fight like crazy with my mom some days, and matter of fact legitimately just five minutes ago I rolled my eyes at her. All while knowing how damn lucky I am to still have her at 51 years old. I KNOW I'm going to feel guilty for how bratty I can still be with her even at my advanced age, but...family dynamics, man, they ain't changing!

I don't want to lose her but I do hope she goes before me because I would NEVER want her to feel what I do.

 

But in all seriousness, sorry you had a rough day after that. If you need to chat, feel free to reach out any time. Even if I can't help, I'll damn sure sit next to you (through... the internet?). Or if you want to share some memories or just simply say how it fuckin' sucks. Because it does.

 

I feel like the forum should have come with a huge TW! for the last little bit.

sorry to anyone this might have triggered! Hugs!

 

Triggers: Yes
Connection and healing from others: Yes